Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp For Days

The lightning rod of last week’s divisional playoff round was beyond confirmation, that the NFL is still the boss in the American sports arena. The excitement of the NFL continues the skyrocket, that preemptively pushes the bounds of the NFL brand frontier.

And it only gets better my friends.

After the final seconds ticked away in each game this past weekend, questions about ensuing challenges arose almost instantly.Can quarterbacking sensation Colin Kaepernick, perpetuate his record-breaking performance in what most, might mistakenly cashier as a San Francisco cakewalk in Atlanta?After “Matty Ice” came from ahead to almost blow another home playoff game, do the Falcons have the late-game ability to hold another home-turf lead against a feverishly advancing opponent?

Will the Baltimore Ravens be able to celebrate the soul of their leader Ray Lewis once again in the toughest possible confrontation they could draw?

Does Tommy Touchdown, eventually get over on his most glaring nemesis of a defensive opponent?

The answers I refuse to guarantee – but even after last week’s salvage of a 1-3 prediction, the questions I will never refuse to ask, and the potential answers to those questions I will never refuse to expound upon.

Of course, Kaepernick’s NFL record-breaking performance for most rushing yards by a quarterback in any game, ever (183), won’t be duplicated. Without a doubt, Atlanta’s defense won’t limp and chase with the same evident worthlessness Green Bay’s defense did last Saturday. However, that doesn’t mean Kaepernick won’t utilize his feet to their fullest extent once again.

San Francisco will only lose because of turnovers. If they value and secure the ball, it will be incredibly difficult for Atlanta to beat them, even in the Georgia Dome. And if the neck-bucking ostrich, converts 3rd downs at a rate of 61.5% for the second playoff week in a row, we might as well consider the filthy Niners will be headed to the Super Bowl.

With all the attention directed at Kaepernick’s record-breaking day, doesn’t Tom Brady still have a stake in all this? Captain America seems to be the forgotten man in this year’s NFL Playoffs.

If the Patriots have a double-digit lead at recess, the Baltimore faithful and bandwagoners alike will begin to seriously doubt whether or not a Hail Mary is once again in the cards for the Ravens.

And if it is, Solomon Wilcots‘ preemptive cut-away from Ray Lewis’ tearful post-game sermon better not be prioritized by network promos. The pimping of The Big Bang Theory or Two Broke Girls apparently took precedence over a first-ballot NFL hall-of-famer, possibly giving us our last positive memory of him in celebration.

Next time, CBS, stay with the reality nugget right in front of you! We have a living legend shedding tears on live camera! You might want to stick with that.  Dorks uncomfortable around women and two waitresses who don’t get tipped,  can wait!

In all seriousness, I know just as much as you do about all this NFL analysis stuff — and in all honestly, probably a whole lot less.

What I do know however is a menu. I’ll be the guy that brought the bacon-wrapped shrimp and won your Super Bowl Party.

Show me the barbeque.

You’re Welcome.